I appreciate all the kind email offers I've recently received to let me in on the stock secret of the century, guide me towards sexy, barely legal teens, hire me to work at home, add length to my member, sell me Viagra at an amazing discount, get rid of pop-ups, show me how to make a fortune on EBay, lower my mortgage rate, sign me up for a low-cost seminar by Robert G. Allen (America's #1 Millionaire Maker), send me an exclusive CD packed with 550 million opt-in e-mail addresses, and so on.

To avoid those generous offers, I've changed my email address to:

Please update your records.

Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty on the Net!